Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

I have been wanting to update this blog for days now, however, the question remains the same- what shall I say? What am I thinking/feeling? What am I learning? What has God been teaching me?

The answer to these questions used to flow naturally but now I feel that I don’t know me.

First let me update you on my physical health- I have returned to my doctor and she has referred me to the heart specialist for further tests. My heart rate has slowed now that the medication is kicking in however, I am still skipping beats. All this means at the moment is, I am constantly tired!!

What is God teaching me? – Not to be content with Good as he wants the best. I have spent the last 18 months making good decisions yet he wants to give me the best. While supporting my family and wanting to protect them from difficult circumstances is a good desire. Living my life for the purpose of knowing God and making him known is Best and that’s what I should be making decisions in light of.

Some of you will agree with me when I say that I have always been feeling based. If I feel good then life is great. Well this has been multiplied since moving to Wales. Mainly as I have few people to speak who are willing to speak truth to me. I have struggled with many topics especially the being single thing. It is a constant struggle as all around me are couples and families. I went to a wedding a few weeks ago. The Bride was a friend of mine from school. It was difficult, as during the evening one friend reminded me that I was now the only one in our group of friends who was single! Thanks! I keep thinking – Whats worng with me? I’m not pretty enough, funny enough, skinny enough! It would be easy to settle for good in this area. To settle for the good guy in town or the single half descent guy around the corner. BUT! By God’s grace I continue to wait for the man he has for me. (When I was in hospital I remember praying “God don’t let me die not knowing what it is to love and be loved”!) Don’t worry I’m not convinced I’m Dying but you see what I’m thinking.

I remember so many nights in Hammond La when I had friends phoning with social events – Girls night at Kim’s! Hang out at the Glo! Eating out at Applebee’s! Oh boy I wish I had those phone calls now. I’m Lonely! And so miss you guys in Hammond!

Anyway I am in work at the mo and though it is very quiet I probably need to go and do some work. Thanks for listening to my waffling. I’m sure it all made more sense to me than it did to you! Love ya!