The ‘Gift’ of Singleness

Ok so most of you will know that for many years i have struggled with being single (and if you didn’t know then just read my previous blog!!). Anyway a few weeks ago a friend sent me a link to a talk she had heard on singleness and thought I may be interested. (Thanks Holly God has used it so so much in my life already)

The speaker was a lady called Carolyn McCulley, and If I am completely honest, I took one look at the title and thought ‘I’ve heard all this before’! The title was ‘We're Not on Hold: Biblical Femininity for Single Women’.  That night I was restless and couldn’t sleep so I thought i would listen to the talk ( I mean if even if I wasn’t going to learn anything I didn’t already know at least it may help me get to sleep lol).

Thankfully the lord had a plan. As I listened to Carolyn share her heart with her sisters I could hear my heart leap in agreement.  Here was someone who has felt the hurts of yet another lonely year gone by and yet has trusted God. I spoken to some of you and you had told on me. All the times i sat alongside some of you and complained at God’s timing on giving me a husband. I mean she was spot on. The reason she knew how i felt was because she felt it too.

However, She was single and struggling, but struggling well.

After listening to her speak I immediately started to google her. She had written a book as well. So …. I bought it!

I am now 3/4 through the book but could not wait until i finished it to recommend it. It is by far the best book i have read on singleness ( and lord knows I have read a few)

Here is a short extract:

Now that I’m (Carolyn McCulley) forty and Single I see that I haven’t died of deferred hopes. Actually life is pretty good. I would still like to be married, but this hope doesn’t consume me the way it used to. I am trusting that when I get to see the big picture from Heavens viewpoint, I will agree that God’s plan for my life was best that the years i spent single were worth it for the ways God has used me………….. One thing I’ve learned to do is praise God in the middle of my dashed hopes. Years ago when a hoped-for relationship wouldn’t happen or a friendship wouldn’t kindle into a romance, I would crash and burn emotionally. But now I have learned something from the prophet Habakkuk and his closing psalm.

Hab 3:17-18 says:  For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls:  (Hab 3:17) Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  (Hab 3:18)

Carolyn has paraphrased these verses to apply to her circumstances:

  “Though this friendship does not blossom, nor love be in his heart, though he chooses to pursue someone else,  and my prayers seem to go unanswered, though others walk down the wedding aisle, and i remain behind,  Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,  I will take joy in the God of  my salvation'”                                             

OK So I’m going to quit ‘talking’ and let you check it out for yourself

Here is the link to her talk:

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/1667_Were_Not_on_Hold_Biblical_Femininity_for_Single_Women/

She also has a blog:

http://solofemininity.blogs.com/

and currently has two books the one that I am reading is called: ‘Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye: trusting God for a hope deferred’ She also has another book called ‘Radical Womanhood’

So I think this is officially my longest ever blog but I hope is well worth the read. If you are single and struggling or you know someone who is then please please take a look at what God has shown Carolyn McCulley.

I have wasted so many of the last years Consumed by my lack of a husband, its time now to be consumed by the one who loves me far more than a husband ever can!!!!