Letter

Its been hard to talk to God at the moment so a friend suggested I write a letter. So here it is..Pray that God will answer the prayers of his sinful selfish daughter!

God,
I wanted to write dad instead of God, but it is hard for me to think of you as dad at the moment. I feel so distant from you. How did I get to this place? Walking with you daily seems a distant memory. I’m not sure how to feel at the moment... I am sad because I miss being intimate with you...I am angry because I don’t feel like you have given me what i desire, a husband? What if you plan is to never give me a husband. What then?
I have been reminded this week of the story of the prodigal son. How I long to run into those welcoming arms! What stops me... not feeling worthy.. Feeling too far away from you to come back...
I remember times of weeping over those lost without you... Now I am the one who feels lost! I know how your heart must break when i turn to the world to give me answers. But God...my heart aches.. it aches with loneliness and hurt... and i desperately want to fix those things... but how.
Your church here is not a good picture of you.. it causes me to feel further away from you. What do i do God where do i turn? As peter said ‘where can i go for you have the words of eternal life’. Truth is God I cant run away...you are the only source of life.. So I say God I believe..Help my unbelief! Help me to trust you God. Help me to see that your plan is best... help me to know that you love me...
I am tired God.. I don’t want to run anymore... take me away God and make me more like you... God make me miserable until i walk with you again... I long to hear the words ‘I’m proud of you’ from my earthly father... when truthfully I long even more to hear them from my heavenly father.
Help Lord! Help me fall in love with you again.
Your lonely and desperate to be loved daughter
Jo